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(Observable facts only)\n   - What is the impact? (On you, team, work)\n   - What do you need to change?\n\n2. **Check Your Emotions**\n   - What am I feeling? Why?\n   - Am I calm enough to have this conversation?\n   - What might trigger me during this conversation?\n\n3. **Consider Their Perspective**\n   - How might they see this situation?\n   - What constraints or pressures might they have?\n   - What do they care about that I can acknowledge?\n\n4. **Define Your Goal**\n   - What outcome do I want?\n   - What is the minimum acceptable result?\n   - What am I willing to compromise on?\n\n### Phase 2: Delivery (During)\n\n**Purpose:** Have the conversation effectively\n\n1. **Open Neutrally**\n   - Start with facts, not judgments\n   - Express intent to understand, not accuse\n   - Create psychological safety\n\n2. **Share Your Perspective**\n   - Describe behavior, not character\n   - Focus on impact, not intention\n   - Use \"I\" statements, not \"you always\"\n\n3. **Listen Actively**\n   - Ask clarifying questions\n   - Acknowledge their viewpoint\n   - Look for shared interests\n\n4. **Seek Resolution**\n   - Propose specific actions\n   - Agree on next steps\n   - Set check-in timeline\n\n### Phase 3: Followup (After)\n\n**Purpose:** Ensure lasting resolution\n\n1. **Document Agreements**\n   - What was agreed?\n   - Who does what by when?\n   - How will you measure success?\n\n2. **Check Progress**\n   - Follow up as promised\n   - Acknowledge improvements\n   - Address continued issues promptly\n\n3. **Maintain Relationship**\n   - Separate issue from person\n   - Rebuild trust over time\n   - Watch for regression\n\n## Key Principles\n\n### Separate Impact from Intent\n\n**What happened:** Observable behavior\n**What I felt:** Your emotional response\n**What I assume:** Their intention (often wrong)\n\nFocus conversation on behavior and impact, not assumed intentions.\n\n### The SBI Model\n\n**Situation:** When and where did this happen?\n**Behavior:** What specifically did they do\u002Fsay?\n**Impact:** What was the effect on you, the team, or the work?\n\n### Managing Emotions\n\n| If You Feel | Before Acting |\n| ----------- | ------------- |\n| Angry | Wait 24 hours, write but don't send |\n| Hurt | Talk to neutral party first |\n| Anxious | Practice the conversation |\n| Defensive | Identify your contribution |\n\n### When to Escalate\n\nEscalate when:\n\n- Safety is at risk\n- Legal issues involved\n- Repeated conversations haven't worked\n- Power dynamics prevent resolution\n- You need documentation\n\n## Conversation Types\n\n### Performance Feedback\n\n- Lead with specific examples\n- Connect to expectations\u002Fstandards\n- Focus on future improvement\n- Offer support and resources\n\n### Conflict Resolution\n\n- Hear both sides separately first\n- Identify underlying interests\n- Look for win-win solutions\n- Document agreements\n\n### Sensitive Topics\n\n- Choose private, neutral setting\n- Allow time for processing\n- Be direct but compassionate\n- Respect confidentiality\n\n### Receiving Feedback\n\n- Thank them for feedback\n- Ask clarifying questions\n- Don't defend immediately\n- Reflect before responding\n\n## References (Load When Needed)\n\n### Detailed Frameworks\n\n- **[Conversation Framework](references\u002Fconversation-framework.md)**: Complete three-phase framework with scripts and examples\n- **[Preparation Template](references\u002Fpreparation-template.md)**: Worksheet for preparing before difficult conversations\n- **[Delivery Scripts](references\u002Fdelivery-scripts.md)**: Opening lines, response handling, reframing techniques\n- **[Emotional Regulation](references\u002Femotional-regulation.md)**: Managing your own emotions before and during\n\n## See Also\n\n- `feedback-mastery` skill - SBI feedback model (overlaps but more feedback-focused)\n- `professional-effective-communication` skill - General communication patterns\n\n## Example Scenarios\n\n### Scenario 1: Addressing Missed Deadlines\n\n```markdown\n**Issue:** Team member missed 3 deadlines in past month\n**Impact:** Project delayed, others blocked\n**Goal:** Understand root cause, agree on prevention plan\n\n**Opening:** \"I wanted to check in about the recent deliverables. I've noticed\nthe last three have come in past deadline, and I'd like to understand what's\nhappening and how we can address it together.\"\n```\n\n### Scenario 2: Peer Conflict\n\n```markdown\n**Issue:** Colleague publicly criticized your work in meeting\n**Impact:** Embarrassed, trust damaged\n**Goal:** Address behavior, rebuild working relationship\n\n**Opening:** \"I'd like to talk about what happened in yesterday's standup.\nWhen you said my code 'missed obvious issues,' I felt called out in front\nof the team. I'd like to understand your concerns and find a better way\nto handle code quality feedback.\"\n```\n\n### Scenario 3: Asking Manager for Raise\n\n```markdown\n**Issue:** Feel underpaid relative to market\u002Fcontribution\n**Impact:** Demotivation, considering leaving\n**Goal:** Discuss compensation, get timeline or adjustment\n\n**Opening:** \"I'd like to discuss my compensation. I've been here two years,\ntaken on the payments project leadership, and want to make sure my salary\nreflects my contributions and the current market.\"\n```\n\n## Anti-Patterns to Avoid\n\n### In Preparation\n\n- **Scripting every word** - You'll sound robotic; prepare themes, not scripts\n- **Building a case** - This isn't a trial; seek understanding, not winning\n- **Waiting too long** - Issues compound; address promptly\n\n### In Delivery\n\n- **Starting with \"You always...\"** - Triggers defensiveness immediately\n- **Burying the lead** - Get to the point; don't soften excessively\n- **Asking leading questions** - \"Don't you think...\" isn't asking\n\n### In Followup\n\n- **Forgetting to check in** - Without follow-up, nothing changes\n- **Holding grudges** - Issue resolved means relationship continues\n- **Over-documenting** - Not everything needs written record\n\n## Success Metrics\n\nA successful difficult conversation:\n\n- Both parties feel heard\n- Specific actions are agreed\n- Relationship is preserved or improved\n- The issue doesn't recur (or has clear escalation)\n- Neither party is blindsided later\n",{},"main","def8531e65114c0fca8fb8551c1871ee0eed705c","skills\u002Fsoftaworks\u002Fagent-toolkit\u002Fdifficult-workplace-conversations",24,"https:\u002F\u002Fgithub.com\u002FComeOnOliver\u002Fskillshub","https:\u002F\u002Fskillshub.wtf","https:\u002F\u002Fgithub.com\u002FComeOnOliver","AI & Blockchain Engineer\r\n","2026-06-24 22:07:19",{"source":7,"skillName":5,"commands":35,"prompt":45,"zipAvailable":46},[36,39,42],{"tool":37,"command":38},"npx","npx skills add ComeOnOliver\u002Fskillshub --skill difficult-workplace-conversations",{"tool":40,"command":41},"bunx","bunx skills add ComeOnOliver\u002Fskillshub --skill difficult-workplace-conversations",{"tool":43,"command":44},"pnpm","pnpm dlx skills add ComeOnOliver\u002Fskillshub --skill 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